Why do the little things in life matter? The best way to describe is through the ‘butterfly effect’. Most of the time, we overlook the minute things we encounter on a day-to-day basis because these things that we label as “trivial” or “small” doesn’t excite us. It doesn’t make us take a double-take or raise our eyebrows. But all these ‘little’ things combined can create an overall impression of a person or a scenario. One real-life case is the bush fires that occur across the globe. One ignorantly discarded cigarette end or an improperly put out campfire can appear to do no harm and go unnoticed by the majority. But in a matter of hours and days, this could escalate into a massive bush fire that would destroy many lives. The same concept applies when socializing. When we meet someone for the first time, our intuition tells us to either mingle with them or to run for the hills. If we don’t keep an eye out for these subtle red flags, most of us would have ended up in very dire circumstances. These are just a very few reasons as to why the little things in life always matter.
Growing up encompassed by all kinds of animals, I learned to communicate and read them from an early age through non-verbal communication, of course. Weirdly enough, one of my wishes growing up was to be able to talk with animals, though now I feel like I have acquired my childhood wish but with a twist. It’s as if the Universe listened to my prayers and was like ‘BAM! Give this child her wish!’ but make it entertaining by making this child read into every facial expression and body movement that she will ever come across. (insert God’s sinister laugh) As a result, I tend to sit back and keenly observe every single person I come across. This not only keeps me amused for some time but gives me much-needed insight into that person’s mind. There is always the underestimation that comes with the ignorant and loud characters that keeping one’s silence as an act of submission or weakness. While they carry on reciting a bible’s worth of words, I enjoy my participation by analyzing each person who takes part in these conversations and trying to de-code their mentality. (Not that I don’t take part, but in a novel context this method is much feasible to understand everyone)
There’s so much information one gives away by their presence. One doesn’t require to talk to gain an understanding of who they are. Their mere presence can radiate the innermost feelings by the way they sit, stand, walk, etc. The infinite hours I have spent studying numerous books and articles on human behavioral psychology and the skill of reading into every facial expression on both humans and animals have finally paid off in noticing the smallest details about a person. But it also can get very confusing sometimes as humans are complex beings, and the way one behaves or responds can be directly correlated to the way they think making it harder to generalize their actions.
Apart from the basics of reading a person’s sitting styles, walking mannerisms, standing postures, eye contact, hand gestures, hand placements, facial expressions, leg placements, etc., there are so many other ways one can read a person. Not just in general, but the differences in their attitudes and overall body movements shifts around different people. These changes can occur around personalities they are intimidated by people that they are very comfortable with, people they want to impress, around people they love, and around people they dislike. The changes in voices, voice intensity fluctuations, subtle and involuntarily actions people perform while engaging in a conversation, the movements of the eye, lips, eyebrows, and every small action gives away what a person is thinking and feeling. Being able to pay close attention to these aspects enables people to understand the intentions and actions of the other party. This would assist to avoid many unfavorable situations that could arise from being ignorant. It allows the person to be sensitive to their environment and empathize with the characters around them without jumping to conclusions and negative judgments.
Apart from the various physical gestures, many other “trivial” elements can woo a person or disgust someone. Manners, etiquettes, and the basic ability to empathize play a role in this domain. Though it won’t make much sense to take part in the most basic mannerisms like saying “Thank You” or “Sorry”, especially among close people like best friends or colleagues they do create the overall picture of a person at the end of the day. Recognition, appreciation, and affirmations are a few of the fuels that drive humans to perform better. After all, the way you treat others is the way you will be treated.
The reasons people fall for a person can very much differ from each person. The impression they formulate by their overall existence can create a lasting image. It could be one’s effort to fix their hair or groom themselves, or the slightest effort they placed to fix their posture, attire. They never go unnoticed. The whiff of a perfume you catch when someone walks past you can short-wire a brain (only if that perfume smells good, of course). The small changes one does around someone they like including preening themselves, voice changes, and an overall difference of attitude can all be sensed by one’s intuition and the sixth sense if you observe closely. How goofy some people act around certain people while showing a mysterious and serious side to the others, how people utilize a specific language and a distinct set of vocabulary around some and hide that side from the rest all show the multiple layers we possess and this enables to let only specific people see the “Real” side of someone.
- Remembering the most trivial details in a conversation
- Paying close attention to detail
- The tone people communicate
- How they interact with others
- The silly blunders one makes and the reaction it elicits
- Their unique usage of words
- Sparing time to engage and interact (Especially if that person is busy, sparing time out of their day to talk means a lot)
- Sharing passions and interests
- Recommending books/ songs
- Their energy in a conversation
- Paying attention vs being distracted
- The way they smell and put effort into how they present themselves
- Eye contact
- Touch (in its multi-faceted forms)
- Bits of advice and offering a helping hand
- Creating a safe and comfortable atmosphere to let loose
- Unconventional approaches
- Ability to empathize and understand
- One’s ambitions and dreams
- Checking up on someone
- Letting them know that they pay attention to you
- Listening
These are a few of the things that can create a lasting impression on someone’s mind and can help in deciphering the person.
So, at the end of the day, the most trivial things in a person that we often overlook can play a massive role in creating their identity in our minds. At least within me as I frequently read into things excessively, but this allows me to understand and appreciate the people around me and their efforts because sometimes people are trying their very best, and they get disregarded because of our standards or because of wrong judgments. Tapping into other’s minds and catering to fit their needs can get overwhelming sometimes as you are more in tune with other’s feelings than they are with yours, but I believe being able to empathize with everyone around you can result in giving you more leeway to approach matters better and resolve issues much faster. This conceives more ‘good’ than ‘bad’ hence, being sensitive to the people around you, their actions, words, movements can enlighten your soul, and mind, and benefit all relationships that you take part in.
Garisha Herath 