The Simple Joys of Life

Life is a tumultuous journey for all creatures walking the face of the earth. It is a race for survival and existence, but with time the needs and wants of man have evolved drastically effecting a boost in non-essential items and luxuries that can only be accessed by the wealthy or the more affluent people of our society. The world has become a very unjust, and biased place to survive in terms of financially and ethically as well. Among all the chaos of the world, people have become engrossed in a futile rat race. Chasing after what we believe to be happiness, pursuing tales and fabrications made by the world around us, and ultimately realizing all is in vain and happiness is not just a matter of materialistic pleasure but it involves a lot of spiritual and mental satisfaction and gratitude as well.

We too are part of this vicious circle of life, where we will only come to realize our trifling struggles throughout our lifetime have gotten us nothing but the bitterness at the end of the day for not living life to its best while we could have. A quote that touched me in ways that none others have is “Carpe Diem” also known as ‘seize the day’ by the infamous movie ‘The Dead Poet’s Society’. Many quotes and sayings emphasize the need to live in the moment and enjoying the moment your experiencing. But the absolute ignorance we give to the simple joys and pleasures in life is detrimental to our well-being and how we will devise our future.

The words “mysa” and “hygge” are two words that reveal the pure delights in life elegantly. “mysa” is a Swedish word to express the pleasure and comfort of being at home, then the term “hygge” defines the act of enjoying simple things in life that we overlook on a day-to-day basis because of our bustling lifestyles. What have we taken for granted as a human being? In simple terms, Everything. We as humans take everything that comes our way for granted. Be it the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we ingest, and the people we encounter. If you’re a busy individual going back and forth from work and home to different places you would barely have time to appreciate the company of your family, loved ones, and to have some tranquil moment for yourself. You would be longing for a chance to be home. But when you are granted the chance to linger at home as a result of the current pandemic you would have an abundance of unoccupied time in your hands to do whatever your heart pleases. But yet you would be yearning to go out and get back to your hectic lifestyle as you are wary of being home. The proverb “absence makes the heart grow fonder” fits the context perfectly as we tend to crave for things when we lose them, that is a consequence of taking things for granted while we have them. During the pandemic majority of us are desiring a particular form of living before the pandemic. It could be going out to meet friends, going to work, school, university, going to purchase groceries, not fretting about wearing masks, sanitizing and social distancing continually, the simple privilege of going out of your house are things we have taken granted though we did not realize. Being inside locked doors for a long period may have ignited a spark of curiosity in you to follow your heart and engage in leisurely activities that you did not have the time to do before the pandemic. Taking time to prepare your meals, read a book, listen to music without any interruption, compose a painting, watch a movie, exerting time to attend to your loved ones and spend quality time with them, enjoying a cup of tea or coffee in the chilly morning are things that you can start appreciating every day instead of looking forward to spending extravagantly to gain a momentary sense of happiness. Understanding happiness, content, and comfort can be reached at any place, even at the comfort of your own home by yourself is vital for the personal and spiritual growth of a person.

An act of appreciating and being grateful for the meal that is put in front can be seen in the Japanese culture. The Japanese will use the term “Itadakimasu” before each meal which simply means “to eat and receive”. This is an imperative part of Japanese culture to thank everything and everyone involved in the preparation of a meal. Another part of the society that says thankyou before a meal is Christians. They would proceed to say Grace before or after a meal to acknowledge and appreciate the meal. These are acts of gratitude that we as humans should incorporate in our lifestyles. This does not mean we need to serve these exact procedures but we can start appreciating the effort that takes to put a meal on the table three times a day every day to keep us alive and healthy. To appreciate the cup of coffee you drink every morning to feel awake. What we don’t see is the process that takes to manufacture the ingredients for your meal or your coffee and the long hours it takes to be harvested, prepared, distributed, stored in hygiene conditions fit for consumption takes up to months and the process requires a lot of laborers along the way to create your daily life much more pleasant. Once you start noticing the efforts put by everyone involved in making you that cup of tea to the point you drink it, you will not look at life the same way you viewed it earlier.

Minimalism became a life-altering movement in recent years because of characters like Marie Kondo who came up with the Konmari method of decluttering that took the world by surprise. This method had been practiced from the early days in East Asia as a lifestyle though it was given recognition much later in the years. Though at present there are many adaptations of minimalism and incentives for taking part in this lifestyle, being a minimalist allows a person to be grateful at the utmost level to the items they possess. A minimalistic lifestyle empowers you to have the bare essentials and to de-clutter constantly. This means you can only own the things that you would use daily and donate or discard things you have not utilized. This would result in owning a minimum number of items in a household and therefore raising the value of each item. Being grateful even for the smallest thing in life can be a beneficial step to perceive life. It would open your eyes to an unconventional approach of perceiving. ‘The Monk who sold his Ferrari’ by Robert Sharma and the ‘Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho are two books that remind me of being content with simple joys in life that would make excellent readings to transform the way you view life.

Sapiosexuals

What is sapiosexual? In a generation where the term sapiosexual is being thrown around like confetti, it is best to pause and retrace the steps to the origin of the word. Sapiosexual is a person who is drawn by the intelligence, knowledge, sagacity a person possesses. These people are not attracted by corporeal images, disposition, or any other peculiarity but solely from the complex forms of evaluating a person begets. Their version of foreplay can be a steamy debate or a profound and meaningful conversation. The catchword came to the limelight in the mid-year of 2014 on a talk show addressing attraction and relationships. Ever since then many individuals have been utilizing the word in various contexts in their private and public life. From candidly replacing their profile bio to a sapiosexual related quote or by dropping the “S” bomb on a first date. This can be beneficial for a partner who’s the ideal person should be a being of intellect but then again in my opinion it can be a sign of a red flag.

Why would someone blatantly express of them being a sapiosexual when they meet anyone new without verifying who they are by engaging in an intriguing conversation? When people tend to be straight forward by using terms as such it seems very pretentious and hence raises all my red flags about a person’s authenticity. Keeping my doubts and inquiries about such people aside for a while, I will draw my attention to the psychology behind such attractions. If we go into an in-depth analysis of attraction there are diverse psychological, scientific, fictitious, ancestral, cultural beliefs of forms of attractions including the recently brought out theory of the law of attraction. Scientific research shows that it can be a form of natural selection for reproduction which is the fundamental basis of Darwin’s theory. On the other hand, it can be a mere fascination for smart and talented people in general. If it was up to me to furnish an interpretation it would be the necessity to have a partner who is capable of holding an engaging and stimulating conversation, discussion, or even a very disputatious debate over a political, sociological, etc matter. Having a great physique can be one person’s cup of tea but it’s not mine, possessing a unique personality can be intriguing… for a while as it too can vary but what is timeless in my evaluation is a person who is constantly in the quest for knowledge, insatiable thirst, and greed for answers. This, in the long run, devises and maintains conversations and when seeing myself in a 10 or 20 year’s time I do not see myself not being able to sustain an open-minded discussion with the person I would claim to relish.

In a context where I grew up being able to have long conversations that are both argumentative and insightful with my father on a daily basis, I truly enjoy a person who is able to fill me up with unconventional ideologies that would raise my eyebrows. As a child seeing all my father’s ideologies being scrutinized by everyone around him made me question a lot of things but growing up with such clashing opinions made me immune to radical notions making me crave to hunt for more facts, information, or even people that would give me that feeling of thrill, rush and excitement of being in non-stereotypical conversations. Being able to hold such conversations requires a lot of research and study as well as a unique set of exposure which makes encountering people who have that sort of mentality arduous to discover. It is fairly true that wisdom and experience come with maturity because there is hardly anyone in my age category I can relate to or build a relationship in such a manner. Therefore, making people who have such a mentality, especially men a luxury.

Concluding this I will deliver a brief quotation from a tale I read of the destitute yet the very relatable narrative of Othello by William Shakespeare. Despite Othello being an aged moor ( African in a racist society) and Desdemona being the Senator’s daughter who is more than half the age younger to Othello fell in love with Othello.
“My heart’s subdued
Even to the very quality of my lord:
I saw Othello’s visage in his mind,
And to his honor and his valiant parts
Did I my soul and fortunes consecrate”

She candidly speaks out to his father about the reason she fell in love with the Moor. She saw his face in his mind as said by the third line of the quote. A young lady reared in a society where all the gentlemen had curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and rosy lips she fell in love with the dark, tall and wise man who can enthral her with all his life experiences.

Love

One of the very few words that we all try to define with a universal definition but varies profoundly from person to person hence making the whole notion subjective and vague is love. Therefore, my ideology of love might not be the same as yours. One of the few reasons why I have stopped sharing my insights was because the majority I open up to cannot understand my outlook on love. There are different variants of love in a relationship, caring love, dominant love, submissive love, long-distance love, worldly love, corporeal love, and emotional love. Regardless of the relationship and the beliefs of mine or yours, we cannot say it is love or isn’t because that might be their idealistic version of a happy union.

Some may say love is when you shower each other with materialistic articles, for one it could be the simple act of taking the time to prepare a meal, for another it could be spending quality time which another might say is being clingy or possessive, and someone else might only know how to show love through physical touch. Despite the diverse approaches, one can bestow love in all those above-mentioned ways, according to Gary Chapman. His book on the 5 love languages, he states the various ways one can show love.

• words of affirmation,
• quality time,
• receiving gifts,
• acts of service,
• physical touch.

Yet again, these are only some of the methods one can confer love. Because as much as one can make someone else feel loved and cared through these, love is a combination of all of the above, and more. Love in the presence of silence, which is an act of non-verbal communication, is love too. Understanding each other is the ultimate act of love because then you can finally connect on a deeper level that surpasses all other states of love. Once you understand that love isn’t just the need to perform those five acts of love languages and constantly remind each other that they love them by words of affirmation or invading their personal space but instead start trusting them is love. Trust is a double-edged sword that one can use in a relationship for the better or for worse. You can use it to provide them the freedom they desire and use your solitude wisely or weaponize trust and use it to destroy the other soul by generating thoughts of doubt and suspicion guided by your insecurities.

I have told several people throughout the years what I yearn in a relationship. One such person I opened up to was my mother who laughed at my “silliness” and told me to lower my standards. The other person blatantly took the love for granted. Then again, there is a fine line between understanding love and furnishing the person room to grow and breathe as well as taking that for granted and weaponizing the said freedom to hurt the other. Letting each other be their own person and maintain each other’s individuality is in itself love. Love for me is when you understand each other very well that being in silence is not an act of hate, despise, or a pending doom but simply, the state of being themselves and enjoying the solitude. The loudness of your surroundings, the voices, even the hum of a fan can get irritating sometimes, and for me, I would search for a tranquil place to go and seek solace. Sometimes the chatter, laughter of your friends, and colleagues alone can be overwhelming, and I would find comfort in the fresh air of an open space being alone. Yet I would get bombarded with questions from my peers, not realizing that I very much relish my being alone. Likewise, in a relationship too, one can get overwhelmed by the other party, and that is normal. If I ask my mom what love is, for her, it is a completely different notion than of my colleagues, and if I ask a colleague of mine what love is, yet again it is very different than mine. Hence, I find it very challenging to open up to anyone because no one is capable of understanding my opinions. For my colleagues ( not speaking on behalf of all ) love is a time-consuming activity that drains you from your everyday activities. It can take up most of your day, and some even compare it to taking up an extra module as it is very challenging. Countless hours of texting, calling, routine meetups, and over the cause of the relationship, you are not two different people, you are one blob of a mess who is unable to differentiate your own identity from theirs. It is a proven fact, over time, you start to talk, behave, and act like your loved one but, it doesn’t mean you should completely lose your identity and your essence of who you are. Having a personal life is an absurdity in the relationships around me. If I confide in my friend in no time does her/ his partner knows about my deepest darkest secrets too. I have seen way too many relationships as such,and even the thought of it suffocates me. It would be like a 2 in 1 package with such people. They would slowly start losing friends and interests in what they did earlier and make their whole life about the new person of interest, which is typical, I assume. It would be like the honeymoon phase for the first few months until you slowly start losing interest because now there is nothing further about your partner because they have spent the first half of their relationship completely merging themselves. Love as such can be very tiring and exhausting, and it shouldn’t be like that. It should be enjoyable and freeing. There are many trivial things as such that I find uncomfortable and pointless in relationships but then again, that is my opinion.

My beliefs can be very idealistic, yet I find comfort knowing that there is at least one person out there who had preached the same as what I desire in life, making me feel ok to have such idolizations of love. Tumbling upon Osho quotes was probably the best thing that happened to me as it makes me feel sane, knowing that I am not alone, and there might be someone out there who else feels the same. Even though my view on life is having personal space and understanding each other’s needs and wants, it might not be the same for the other person conceiving a clash in opinions hence making them incompatible for a lasting relationship.

Love is not the act of being clingy, possessive, controlling nor can it be measured by the number of gifts one gives, dates you go, the value of what they give nor it is restricting their happiness, freedom, reaching goals, and targets,( be it going out with friends, traveling, academically or occupation wise), love is not falling for what they do, wear or look like, it is a mutual understanding and an emotional connection based on trust and love that can surpass all levels of intimacy. Love is not the act of constantly confirming, reassuring your love nor proving it on a day-to-day basis with words of affirmation but it is the understanding that it goes much deeper than that. Love is letting each other explore themselves and the world around them while nurturing each other’s minds and souls. It is a very complicated word to describe probably because it is a feeling and a state of being rather than a bookish theory. A very simple and enjoyable state to be with the right person and with the correct mindset.

The little things

Why do the little things in life matter? The best way to describe is through the ‘butterfly effect’. Most of the time, we overlook the minute things we encounter on a day-to-day basis because these things that we label as “trivial” or “small” doesn’t excite us. It doesn’t make us take a double-take or raise our eyebrows. But all these ‘little’ things combined can create an overall impression of a person or a scenario. One real-life case is the bush fires that occur across the globe. One ignorantly discarded cigarette end or an improperly put out campfire can appear to do no harm and go unnoticed by the majority. But in a matter of hours and days, this could escalate into a massive bush fire that would destroy many lives. The same concept applies when socializing. When we meet someone for the first time, our intuition tells us to either mingle with them or to run for the hills. If we don’t keep an eye out for these subtle red flags, most of us would have ended up in very dire circumstances. These are just a very few reasons as to why the little things in life always matter.

Growing up encompassed by all kinds of animals, I learned to communicate and read them from an early age through non-verbal communication, of course. Weirdly enough, one of my wishes growing up was to be able to talk with animals, though now I feel like I have acquired my childhood wish but with a twist. It’s as if the Universe listened to my prayers and was like ‘BAM! Give this child her wish!’ but make it entertaining by making this child read into every facial expression and body movement that she will ever come across. (insert God’s sinister laugh) As a result, I tend to sit back and keenly observe every single person I come across. This not only keeps me amused for some time but gives me much-needed insight into that person’s mind. There is always the underestimation that comes with the ignorant and loud characters that keeping one’s silence as an act of submission or weakness. While they carry on reciting a bible’s worth of words, I enjoy my participation by analyzing each person who takes part in these conversations and trying to de-code their mentality. (Not that I don’t take part, but in a novel context this method is much feasible to understand everyone)

There’s so much information one gives away by their presence. One doesn’t require to talk to gain an understanding of who they are. Their mere presence can radiate the innermost feelings by the way they sit, stand, walk, etc. The infinite hours I have spent studying numerous books and articles on human behavioral psychology and the skill of reading into every facial expression on both humans and animals have finally paid off in noticing the smallest details about a person. But it also can get very confusing sometimes as humans are complex beings, and the way one behaves or responds can be directly correlated to the way they think making it harder to generalize their actions.

Apart from the basics of reading a person’s sitting styles, walking mannerisms, standing postures, eye contact, hand gestures, hand placements, facial expressions, leg placements, etc., there are so many other ways one can read a person. Not just in general, but the differences in their attitudes and overall body movements shifts around different people. These changes can occur around personalities they are intimidated by people that they are very comfortable with, people they want to impress, around people they love, and around people they dislike. The changes in voices, voice intensity fluctuations, subtle and involuntarily actions people perform while engaging in a conversation, the movements of the eye, lips, eyebrows, and every small action gives away what a person is thinking and feeling. Being able to pay close attention to these aspects enables people to understand the intentions and actions of the other party. This would assist to avoid many unfavorable situations that could arise from being ignorant. It allows the person to be sensitive to their environment and empathize with the characters around them without jumping to conclusions and negative judgments.

Apart from the various physical gestures, many other “trivial” elements can woo a person or disgust someone. Manners, etiquettes, and the basic ability to empathize play a role in this domain. Though it won’t make much sense to take part in the most basic mannerisms like saying “Thank You” or “Sorry”, especially among close people like best friends or colleagues they do create the overall picture of a person at the end of the day. Recognition, appreciation, and affirmations are a few of the fuels that drive humans to perform better. After all, the way you treat others is the way you will be treated.

The reasons people fall for a person can very much differ from each person. The impression they formulate by their overall existence can create a lasting image. It could be one’s effort to fix their hair or groom themselves, or the slightest effort they placed to fix their posture, attire. They never go unnoticed. The whiff of a perfume you catch when someone walks past you can short-wire a brain (only if that perfume smells good, of course). The small changes one does around someone they like including preening themselves, voice changes, and an overall difference of attitude can all be sensed by one’s intuition and the sixth sense if you observe closely. How goofy some people act around certain people while showing a mysterious and serious side to the others, how people utilize a specific language and a distinct set of vocabulary around some and hide that side from the rest all show the multiple layers we possess and this enables to let only specific people see the “Real” side of someone.

• Remembering the most trivial details in a conversation
• Paying close attention to detail
• The tone people communicate
• How they interact with others
• The silly blunders one makes and the reaction it elicits
• Their unique usage of words
• Sparing time to engage and interact (Especially if that person is busy, sparing time out of their day to talk means a lot)
• Sharing passions and interests
• Recommending books/ songs
• Their energy in a conversation
• Paying attention vs being distracted
• The way they smell and put effort into how they present themselves
• Eye contact
• Touch (in its multi-faceted forms)
• Bits of advice and offering a helping hand
• Creating a safe and comfortable atmosphere to let loose
• Unconventional approaches
• Ability to empathize and understand
• One’s ambitions and dreams
• Checking up on someone
• Letting them know that they pay attention to you
• Listening

These are a few of the things that can create a lasting impression on someone’s mind and can help in deciphering the person.

So, at the end of the day, the most trivial things in a person that we often overlook can play a massive role in creating their identity in our minds. At least within me as I frequently read into things excessively, but this allows me to understand and appreciate the people around me and their efforts because sometimes people are trying their very best, and they get disregarded because of our standards or because of wrong judgments. Tapping into other’s minds and catering to fit their needs can get overwhelming sometimes as you are more in tune with other’s feelings than they are with yours, but I believe being able to empathize with everyone around you can result in giving you more leeway to approach matters better and resolve issues much faster. This conceives more ‘good’ than ‘bad’ hence, being sensitive to the people around you, their actions, words, movements can enlighten your soul, and mind, and benefit all relationships that you take part in.

Why we are who we are – An analysis on eroticism and pornography

Hooked on a never-ending quest for who we are, I’m going to tell you that you and I are not much different from an ape or a canine. Keyword “not much”. One could argue there’s so much that separates us, humans, from animals. The title itself speaks volumes as we have adapted three variants to one simple outcome, “Sex”. At the end of the day Sexuality, Eroticism, and pornography reveals the carnal instincts within humans, which is one of the driving factors for all creatures on Earth. Understanding one’s expression of sexuality in itself can be empowering. Though the three elements stated in the title discuss one shared motive, the process of executing and performing of all three is very dissimilar and has its uniquity.

Sex, Love, Lust, Sexual expression, and Sensuality are matters that have been in question and of discussion throughout the years. One such infamous person to shed some light on this matter is Sigmund Freud. Though some of his arguments and theories are far from reality and practicality, he was able to open new pathways of study. Few of his discoveries are controversial yet make sense when taken as a part of the bigger picture.

1. “Sexuality Is Everyone’s Weakness — and Strength” — Since the beginning of humankind, sexual orientation and sexuality has been one of the sole reasons for major gender divisions and gender-biased job formations. Sex in itself is power. Be it on the bed, in society, or the wild. The one who initiates and the one who controls has the power to get what they want. Be it to satiate their sexual needs, to gain benefits (socially or financially), to play with the power dynamics in a relationship, and to reclaim the dominancy, sex has been and is in use as a weapon. This can either empower or destroy a person depending on the circumstances.

2. “Every Part of the Body Is Erotic” — Freud implied that human beings were sexual from the very beginning. From the days of breastfeeding up until adulthood, there is a sexual drive within all human beings. This reminds me of the well-articulated discourse Seema Anand performed on the “Art of Seduction” on a TEDx forum. She takes references from Ananga Ranga or Kamaledhiplava, which is an Indian sex manual written by ‘Kalyana Malla’ in the 15th or 16th century. Just like Freud, the Indian born storyteller Seema Ananda discreetly explains the subtle yet varied ways of seduction, or in common terminology methods of “turn-on’s”. She further explains the different erogenous zones and the relationships they have with the phases of the moon. In simpler terms, any part of the human body can be erotic.

3. “Fantasy Is an Important Factor in Sexual Excitement” — Needless to go into detail on this, as it is not a secret how much of a vital role our imagination plays to conceive the feeling of being “in the seventh heaven”.

Freudian’s theory in comparison to Carl Jung’s ideologies dispenses contrasting beliefs as well as similarities on a platonic level. While Freud expressed his ideologies on Sex, Love, and sexuality with real-life cases, and analysis of psycho-social behaviors, Jung approached love, sex, and relationships on a more spiritual and philosophical level. Though he excels in the fields of anthropology and a psychoanalyst when it comes to the topic of love, he gravitates more towards philosophy.

“The sexuality of man is more earthly, that of the woman is more spiritual. The spirituality of man is more heavenly, it moves toward the greater.” — Carl Jung, Liber Novus, Page 353.

“We can only become real by accepting our sexuality and not denying it through saintliness.” — Carl Jung.

He takes references from spirituality, religion, and philosophy to express the relationship between a man and a woman. He creates parallels of love to the heavens and the spiritual aspect of the universe implying the existence of a greater depth to the bond shared between two people.

On the topic of love, after browsing through a few of the ideologies and viewpoints of these scholars, I rounded up love into three categories. These can be viewed as different variants of love in a sexual partnership. The first type of love is probably the most common out of all three. It is the love we see commonly among humans and animals. The need to reproduce and the pressure to pass down genes are at the forefront of this partnership. This is a primitive and natural behavior in both animals and humans to ensure the survival of all living beings. In the animal world, we don’t see an attraction beyond the need to reproduce, and the process of finding a suitable mating partner is through an elimination process where the fittest and the strongest gets the chance to pass down their genes. In simpler terms, this is what Darwin explained by natural selection. The human version of love is somewhat similar to that too since most people when in a relationship goes through a process of elimination to choose the best partner for them. People in their mid to late 20s and 30s would usually be in a rush to find a suitable partner to avoid their “lady nuts expiring” and “the joysticks from malfunctioning”.

The second variant of love leans towards a hormonal attraction. This is the person who is in love with the idea of love. He or she is in love with love. It is the desire to be in the honeymoon phase continuously and it would most probably be very short-lived. It’s a state of being high on pleasure and can be paralleled to the feeling of a high one get from an aphrodisiac. Like when consuming chocolate or smelling of vanilla perfume.

The third is a more complex kind of attraction. This attraction is a result of falling in love with the mind, an appreciation of their existence, and agreeing to be a work in progress to uplift each other’s spirits, minds, bodies, and souls. The need to reproduce might be the last thing playing on their minds’ or would not be in the picture at all. Hence, it is not the equivalent of the first kind of love. Since there is an understanding between the two on what each other desires in life there is the possibility to partner up amidst the differences and compromise to work alongside the dissimilarities, knowing very well that there will be ups and downs in the said relationship. Unlike the forever happy-go-lucky honeymoon phase that was expected in the second variant of love, this outshines all sorts of love.

Just like the different variants of love, there are numerous ways of expressing love and attraction. The numerous facets of eroticism and sensuality, also known as sex allow a person to freely express their innermost desires and feelings. On the topic of eroticism and pornography, the double standards between them will forever be in debate. When discussing these two aspects side by side, most would point out the similarities, yet one sounds very sensual, appealing, and even quite romantic and the other a bit on the vulgar side and straight forward. Yet there are the subtle inconsistencies that make a world of a difference. Both would claim to be a form of art or performance but is it? The very well-known form of sexual display, that is pornography, is pretty straightforward and is meant for one purpose, which is to act as a medium of pleasure both for the viewer and the performer, and it gets straight to the point. The act of eroticism is much different in that aspect as it is a subtle and erotic approach compared to the other. Most of the time, in eroticism, there will only be subtleties of foreplay and the erotic depiction of the human body.

There are several types of eroticism. This includes erotica, erotic romance, erotic literature, erotic art, and erotic photography. Though the expression of passion, sensuality, and lust in the form of art is admired and even encouraged in many cultures there is a considerable amount of backlash from the majority at present in Sri Lanka. This is quite ironic considering the notorious history Sri Lanka had in the field of erotic performances, art, and erotic literature. One of the examples taken from history is the music composed by Ananda Samarakoon after being inspired by Tagore. In his work, “Endada Manike” Samarakoon incorporated the Indian goddess Saraswati as she assumes the disguise of a young woman. Enchanted by her beauty, a young man attempts to woo her. He invites her to come into the river to pluck flowers and the dialogue takes on a tone of eroticism when the girl’s white dress becomes wet. Yet the song remains appealing because of the subtle usage of words and the mild language. One of the lyrics is as follows, “In my next birth may I become the honeybee that drinks the flower’s pollen” the specialty of erotic composition during that time and now is the usage of language in the most subtle form. “As Ranjini Obeyesekere explains, “Love poetry or poems evoking śṛngāra rasa (erotic mood) were a well-known feature of classical Sinhalese poetry.” One could even argue that the core principles most deem as sacred in terms of religion, for example, the infamous Kusa Jataka tale carries erotic denotations. Though visual erotica can be appealing, there is so much room for imagination and improvement in the genre of erotic literature. This is similar to romance but has a much sensual and passionate approach in comparison to raunchy novels or straight up smut.

There is much room for growth and to explore in the field of eroticism. Just like the many love languages, such as acts of service, touch, and affirmations, there are various erotic/ sexual languages as well as said by the ONNA journal. According to her, there are five blueprints for erotic love language.

The 5 Erotic Blueprints are:

• Energetic
• Sensual
• Sexual
• Kinky
• Shape Shifter

Apart from these, there are many ways one can express oneself sexually. But why does it matter? Because it is what makes us human, it is one of the things that differentiates us as well as unites us from the animals, it is what makes us incomparable to the other humans. The unique approaches each one of us has towards these factors and how we perceive all these and incorporate them into our lives makes us who we are at the end of the day. Be it the way one performs on the bed, behind closed doors, or the way one flirts, it all indicates the knowledge one has on this matter and their own unique preferences which adds a bit of flavor to a mundane relationship. This creates one’s identity and personality.

Since this is an extremely broad subject matter this is an article that skimmed over the very top layer of the components.